My understanding of what it means to be resilient has changed over time. In the past, I used to think that being resilient meant enduring hardships stoically, without needing help, without showing weakness. I think this perspective came from my observations of my grandma, who endured years of intense physical pain caused by rheumatoid arthritis, without complaint, without needing anyone’s help. When I started struggling with my mental health, in an effort to be ‘resilient’, to not make people worry, I hid my sufferings from my loved ones, putting on a brave front, pretending that things were all okay. I thought that it was weak to show my negative emotions, so I wore a façade of cheerfulness, even when things inside were swirling in tides of darkness. At that time, I was facing difficulties at work caused by my state of mental health. Not daring to confide in my supervisor, I just kept trying harder to resolve things with my own effort. I kept pushing myself to keep going in the same direction, even when I was already burnt out.